at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.