Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
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I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
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Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.