you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn