I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!