I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?