Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
