He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.