Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
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No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.