I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
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Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?