You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?