I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.