I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.