Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong