Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Washington, DC (202)

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.

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  (202): I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle. http://tfl.nu/vi8d
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  just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over

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  (202): just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over http://tfl.nu/f4tt
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  It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.

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  I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.

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  (202): It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks. (202): I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to. http://tfl.nu/wpl5
  Replies (10) Good night (1256) Bad night (477)
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  Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break

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  (202): Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break http://tfl.nu/8ihp
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  Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.

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  (202): Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT. http://tfl.nu/f3qw
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  She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.

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  (202): She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top. http://tfl.nu/luup
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  Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.

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  Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."

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  (202): Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis. (202): Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery." http://tfl.nu/nxhj
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  BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.

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  (202): BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work. http://tfl.nu/abpr
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  I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....

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  Hydrate.

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  (703): I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding.... (202): Hydrate. http://tfl.nu/62ve
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  Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?

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  (202): Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina? http://tfl.nu/ofgw
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  Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car

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  (202): Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car http://tfl.nu/2cza
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  Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.

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  (202): Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact. http://tfl.nu/fdj2
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  I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.

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  (202): I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control. http://tfl.nu/1mo8
  Replies (0) Good night (774) Bad night (164)
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  I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.

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  (202): I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney. http://tfl.nu/fw2g
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  I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.

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  (202): I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it. http://tfl.nu/m7ga
  Replies (22) Good night (535) Bad night (2054)