Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.