Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Washington, DC (202)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now. http://tfl.nu/oo06
  Replies (5) Good night (2533) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/ma3l
  Replies (5) Good night (1654) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it. http://tfl.nu/4ii1
  Replies (2) Good night (2560) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him http://tfl.nu/8eei
  Replies (7) Good night (2037) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools. http://tfl.nu/n6n6
  Replies (12) Good night (686) Bad night (1901) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She's got a legit dose of dude going on

  (240): View more from Maryland

  No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden (202): She's got a legit dose of dude going on (240): No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne. http://tfl.nu/qro2
  Replies (6) Good night (619) Bad night (1535)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood. http://tfl.nu/hors
  Replies (2) Good night (1628) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open. http://tfl.nu/2rgi
  Replies (6) Good night (2223) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about. (202): Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ. http://tfl.nu/wtju
  Replies (6) Good night (2785) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not. http://tfl.nu/o6ew
  Replies (3) Good night (1473) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands. http://tfl.nu/c22a
  Replies (4) Good night (2262) Bad night (430) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was. http://tfl.nu/pkp0
  Replies (9) Good night (1774) Bad night (977) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  Thanks, mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway. (1-202): Thanks, mom. http://tfl.nu/107n
  Replies (24) Good night (1461) Bad night (4034)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first. http://tfl.nu/24o7
  Replies (3) Good night (474) Bad night (1347) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT? http://tfl.nu/xll1
  Replies (13) Good night (1507) Bad night (1590) Order T-Shirt