Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
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There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
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took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever