I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
I'm just looking out for you.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out