He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
I'm just looking out for you.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt