I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
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You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
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The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.