i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.