Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My room smells like vodka and shame
The maid of honor just puked.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.