Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
