"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
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You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
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I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...