Sex on roller skates
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble