I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.