at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.