You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla