She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
