You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
