Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
she peed on how many people?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.