Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm passing your future prison.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen