Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.