you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm passing your future prison.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.