Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.