It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.