just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.