the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful