At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart