i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?