I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat