girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts