I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.