so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.