He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight