I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.