Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
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Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.