please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
