Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
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Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems