Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
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currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
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After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.