My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.