Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?