Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Come see our sink grown plant.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.