This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Small penises have feelings too.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.