Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.