new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
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Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
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We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you