Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport