It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
were you high?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?