I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
