She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?