I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
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Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"