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Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
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