When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.