He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
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OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
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why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will